You don’t know what a transgender is? Me neither. But don’t feel alone. About 99.99 percent of the population doesn’t know either.

The most notable legacy of the Obama administration, after the not so affordable Affordable Health Care Act and a $20 trillion national debt, will probably be a new word most of us never heard before about two years ago, but is being rammed down our throats by the media – transgender.

Most of the major media outlets are throwing around the term confidently like it’s been here a hundred years, or is the new rage sweeping the country, like the IPhone 10, heading toward the planet like a meteor. Call me ignorant, but I still didn’t know what the word means.

So I looked it up. According to the definition that pops up on the Internet:
“Transgender people have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their assigned sex. Transgender people are sometimes called transsexual if they desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another. Transgender is also an umbrella term: in addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex, it may include people who are not exclusively masculine or feminine. Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or conceptualize transgender people as a third gender. Infrequently, the term transgender is defined very broadly to include cross-dressers, regardless of their gender identity.”

I’m not sure who carved out the definition, but they obviously gave it a lot of thought. The best I can decipher from the above is that if someone is born with certain sex organs, say a males or a female’s, but that may not be what they feel they truly are inside. In fact, they feel just the opposite from the organs they were “assigned.”

Now, who made the original assignment they don’t say. Was it God? Their mother in her womb? Or if they are atheist was it some kind of cosmic Trick or Treat?
So if they suddenly look down and feel things don’t look right, they can go get “medical assistance to transition from one sex to another,” meaning, I guess, that after the surgery, their insides match their outsides, and transition being a nice word for lop the darn things off. Then they can call themselves transsexual.

But wait! Transgender also refers to people who are “not exclusively masculine or feminine,” but something in between, a third gender. What that in-between gender means is not exactly clear. Does it mean not wanting to play pitcher or catcher, but be a utility infielder? Not wanting to drive a hammer and nails or bake cookies, but just work the cash register? Or not be a father or mother, but a distant uncle or aunt who only shows up for family get-togethers and nobody knows what side of the family they’re on.

The best I can tell, transgender most often refers to people who are born with male appendages but who at some point feel like a woman inside and want the annoying things cut off so they can be their true selves – a transsexual. But don’t call them a He or She. That’s impolite. Transgenders want to be referred to as They. Apparently, they couldn’t find a more flashy word, like gay, to take over and change its meaning forever for the rest of us.

But don’t worry, unless you live in certain urban neighborhoods in California, New York, Washington, D.C. or Chicago, you probably won’t bump into one. The estimates on Wikipedia say there are some 200,000 transgenders in California, a state with 38 million non-transgender people. That seems high, when you consider most of them probably live in San Francisco, Hollywood or Silicon Valley. The highest percentage of adult population – an estimated 4.6 percent – supposedly lives inside the District of Columbia, which makes absolute sense, given the confused nature of populace. They say there are transgenders in every state, but how they arrived at that estimate is anybody’s guess.

Yet even with the low percentages, that didn’t stop our great diversity President Obama from issuing a decree from the Oval Office late in his last term for every public school in the land to provide bathrooms for youngsters who weren’t sure their “assigned sex” is really who they are inside. I guess he figured kids at age 10 are supposed to know their real sex in a technological world. This is why Obama’s legacy will always be the LBGTQ President (Q stands for queer, another story), unless the public school bathroom issue is overturned in the courts.

This past week we saw our first transgender elected official, Danica Roem, 33, a former small town newspaper reporter and vocalist in a “metal band.” According to news reports, her band, Cab Ride Home, has been releasing party anthems since 2009, with songs like “Drunk on Arrival” and “The Barstool Memoirs Volume 2” so she seemed as qualified as anyone. Danica – was she born Dan? – defeated Republican Del. Bob Marshall in Northern Virginia for a state senate seat.

The flashpoint for voters in the Virginia district just outside Washington, D.C., was the bathroom issue with Marshall wanting bathrooms in public schools for the sex “assigned” at birth, not changed with “therapy” as Danica had. But the majority of voters bordering our nation’s capital wanted Danica, though she did campaign on other important issues, like jobs and easing traffic congestion, which voters apparently were also for. National news outlets, like CNN and the major networks, all called the outcome “Historic,” which means it fell somewhere between the new iPhone 10 and a meteor hitting cows in central Nebraska.

But don’t worry folks out there in between the Potomac River and the Sierra Nevada mountains. Transgenders may currently have the microphone of the media, but in our lifetimes the chances of bumping into one are about the same as most of us not knowing whether we’re a male or a female, excluding, perhaps, the newsreaders.

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